Nov 10, 2011

Use Marriage Counseling To Save Your Relationship

By Jack Thomas


They say that "marriages are made in heaven" but maintaining it is certainly an earthly job. Each marriage goes through its own blues, its rocky period. However, a few are strong enough to get past the crisis while others get stuck in the rut. Marriage is the union of two different human beings. Each has a different set of identity. Each has a distinct viewpoint about life. It can definitely be difficult to adjust in certain cases. Having said this, mature partners are those who seek compatibility even when they have completely segregate identities. Sometimes, a couple may not find any route out of nuptial mire, in such cases; it is wise to seek marriage counseling. After all, those counseling you are professionals and understand the general difficulties in a marriage.

There are many different reasons due to which a marriage hits Doldrums phase. It is important to note that counseling can only be successful if the partners are willing to cooperate with each other. In certain cases, one of the partners may be forthcoming but the other may think the counselors as over-imposing people interfering in their identity. In such cases, counseling hardly succeeds.

A marriage may be in a spot due to lack of sexual stimulus, financial hiatus, difference of opinion, infidelity, continuous misdemeanor, general ill nature or a hidden chronic disease. In all such cases, a spouse begins to think that he or she has got a bad deal in life and tries to undo the damage by seeking divorce. A counselor tries to tide over such a crisis by asking for greater perseverance from the partners. For instance, if it is the case of lack of sexual stimulus and one of the partners suffers from a deficit, counselors suggest patience as the key to resolving the crisis.

Marriage counselors agree that the counseling is one of the most practical solutions when couples face big issues in their marriage. One of the most difficult problems that couples usually undergo is financial differences. Couples frequently argue about the lifestyle differences as well. Generally, counselors advise the richer partner not to look down and underestimate the other since this will just make matters worse. Compromise and adjustment are much needed when settling differences. Couples should make sure that if they still love each other, they need to make some adjustments.

Partners may also have problems because they have different views about career goals. Sincerely, counselors will tell you that aiming for great heights is very good for a family but when these ambitions have a way of damaging the relationship, they have to be reduced. In this case, they take time to educate the partner at fault to modify career plans. Counselors admit that avoiding extremes in marriage especially when it does not go well with the other partner is important for the family to grow well.

They also explain that divorce can hardly be a solution for a rocky marriage. As a first, it compromises the peace and growth of children; after all, battles of custody leave a sore taste in their mouth. In cases where children are not present, it may become a bitter pill to swallow for the partners. Instead of seeking fresh individual identities, they may look towards battle of vindication. In such an event, divorce may not be an end or a solution but just the starting point for life-long rancor. On the contrary, seeking solution towards keeping the marriage alive is a much better option. After all, marriage is an age-old institution and a couple should do as much as they can to protect its sanctity.




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