Mar 8, 2013

Advice For Surviving A Break Up

By Jamie Stoecker


Break ups are always difficult, but sometimes it is the right choice. If you are the one that is ending the relationship, you should know the best way to handle things so that there is no animosity afterwards. The things you say (and the things you don't say) will be the deciding factor on how things end regardless of how long you have been together.

First, you should make sure that your boyfriend or girlfriend is the first person to know that you're ready to move on. Discussing your plans with friends or family before you talk to your significant other may lead to resentment if they find out. There isn't some perfect time to break up, so stop waiting until the time is right and talk about it as soon as you have made the decision. Choose a neutral, public place to avoid any drama, but be sure that you are still able to have a private conversation.

Breaking up through a voicemail or text is unfair to the other person. The least you owe them is to meet with them face to face and give them an explanation for your decision. Without this meeting, it might be difficult for your ex to get over you and move on with their life. Explain to them that it was a difficult decision for you, too, and that you regret that things didn't work out between the two of you.

Do not be negative or place blame. Use logic and explain how you feel, without turning it into a long drawn out monologue. Make sure that you are clear in your intention to move on, and that there is no chance that this will change. Sometimes an individual may not want to cause pain so they are not crystal clear about what they want, and this can leave the other party hanging on. That also means no late night calls or a convenient roll in the hay after the break up no matter how you may be tempted.

Make plans with friends for the evening after you have finished the conversation with your ex. This will help to keep your mind off of the break up. It's often best to do this on a weekend to give your ex some time to recover before they have to go back to work or school. However, if you know they are a person that would do better with something to keep them busy, this may not be true.




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