Stop The Cycle Of Worry

By Margaret Hardisty

Worry can drive a person crazy. It can drive another person crazy. It can deteriorate a marriage and your relationship with your children. Psychology tells us not to worry. Medical doctors tell us not to worry. Nutritionists and other health practitioners tell us not to worry. Worry brings on poor health. It ages us. It robs us of joy. The Book of ultimate knowledge, the Bible, tells us not to worry. Jesus said:

..who of you by worrying and being anxious can add one unit of measure (cubit) to his stature or to the span of his life? Matthew 6:27 - don't you remember this?

So your marriage isn't doing that well? Worry won't resolve a thing. Action will. Go to our site for men and our site for women for material that will show you what actions to take.

Be anxious for nothing, but in prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God, and the peace of God, which passes all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6 and 7

Be anxious for nothing, but in prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God, and the peace of God, which passes all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6 and 7

Besides action to make sure you save your marriage, there is something else you can do. TRUST. Trust in your abilities and choices. Trust that your spouse and your children have some common sense. Believe in God and the Lord Jesus Christ. Trust in the message that we have been privileged to deliver to you.

Be not wise in your own eyes; reverently fear and worship the Lord and turn away from evil. It shall be health to your nerves and sinews and marrow, and moistening to your bones. Proverbs 3:5-8 (Amplified version)

We're here to assist you - in all kinds of ways. Save your marriage. Save your life.

About the Author:

Are there problems in your marriage? You are not alone. 100's of thousands have used our marriage advice. Marriage help is available , and get separate help for women. Also published at Stop The Cycle Of Worry.

Adultery Stings

By Dr. Vance Hardisty

Ethan, a professional man, was angry and calling his wife all sorts of names when he came to us. "She's having an affair with a guy she met at a roller skating rink. I just found out." Then he burst into tears. "What can I do? I love her. I want to save my marriage." He swallowed hard. "I don't understand. I've always been a good husband."

But he hadn't been a good husband - not really. At least, not in her opinion. When I had the chance to talk with her she told me, "I put up with him as long as I could. I needed someone who would love me the way I needed." Although they blamed each other, both were at fault; but in her disillusionment she started looking elsewhere outside her marriage and "fell in love" with the first guy who gave her attention. She began a love affair with him. That didn't last, so she was off looking for another guy. Meanwhile their children floundered.

People have more reasons to justify their forays into adultery than a centipede has legs. Fortunately, physical adultery still shocks people - and especially if the faithless are famous, like Tiger Woods, or Jesse James, the husband of Sandra Bullock. At this time, it doesn't look like either one is going to be able to save his marriage. Having sex outside your committed relationship can destroy your family, friends and spouse.

Having an affair emotionally or mentally can be adultery as well. A person can have sex mentally with someone else and no one is the wiser unless the porn or email correspondence that reveals their indulgence is discovered. Emotional disloyalty, by choosing someone other than your spouse as your closest confidant and friend, when there are romantic undertones, chips away at married closeness and can escalate into physical betrayal.

V:3 When trust is lost, the marriage will follow. It is at that point in time that the one who cheated sometimes realizes just how much he/she has sacrificed, and there is a desire to make things better. Can it be done? Absolutely. Will it be easy? You already know the answer to that. But with the right information, it is a lot easier than most think.

Some of the biggest problems arise when the one who has had the affair is sorry, swears he/she will never do it again and then expects the offended one to forgive and forget and let the marriage go back to the way it was immediately. Forgiveness is only the first part of the process. Time is needed to heal the situation and forgiveness to truly occur. Second, though the one who has cheated often just wants things to go back to normal - they really DON'T want that. That NORMAL was what got them into trouble in the first place. What they want is a better, stronger, happier marriage. They just don't know how to get it.

The good news is that things can improve. Time after time, we have seen couples who have experienced adultery go through the rebuilding process, follow the steps that they need to follow, and find that they didn't just save their marriages, they made them much better than before.

Let us be very clear. We are not advocating adultery in any way shape or form. It causes incredible pain and suffering to everyone involved and makes the process of crafting a better marriage much harder. If you are in a difficult union, it is far easier to start right now, using clearly defined steps, like those we at Love Relationship Headquarters have laid out, to make the marriage you have dynamic and exciting. You can save the marriage you are in now without going through the pain caused by cheating. Find us and all the steps you need, whether you have gone through the frustration of adultery or not at www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com

You ask us, "Can you save my marriage?" We would ask you to look in the mirror and ask, "Can WE save this marriage?" We can help, yes, but the actual process takes two - you and your spouse.

About the Author:

All marriages are worth saving, no matter what your marriage problems are Save your marriage today, and get separate help for men. Check here for free reprint license: Adultery Stings.

High Hopes For This Marriage

By Dr. Vance Hardisty

Tom and Susan walked into my office. No, this was not a formal session. Just a couple of friends and me sitting down to talk over their relationship. They had been fighting on a regular basis, like a couple of days out of every week. Some of it had to do with his anger, jealousy and past experiences. Some of it had to do with her sharp tongue and dominating personality.

After I listened for a while, I asked them how often they'd been fighting over the last few years. Their reply, "I think we've gone a record four weeks without fighting."

What!!? I could see that they weren't kidding. I realized right there that if they didn't do something radical, they would never save their marriage. So I asked them if they wanted to continue living in their relationship as it was right now. Both of them agreed that they hated it and wanted things to change.

After asking them a couple more questions, it became clear that they weren't dealing primarily with problems in their marriage. Their relationship was only bringing out the weaknesses and problems in their own personalities and history of experiences. Neither one of them had ever spent time working through those problems, and as a result, they were bringing their personal flaws into their union and then attempting to build a healthy relationship on the weaknesses that were rampant in their own individual lives.

The more they talked, the more we all realized that they were attempting something unfeasible. It was like building a house on a foundation filled with cracks and imperfections. Without repairing the foundation, the building would end up crooked and out of square. The cabinets would by no means fit in the corners and the doors would never close properly. Before this couple could go forward in repairing their marriage relationship, they needed to take some time working on their individual personalities and issues.

Tom really loved his wife, and it all of a sudden dawned on him that he needed to find a mentor or counselor who would help him deal with his issues of anger and jealousy, so that those things would no longer influence his relationship with her. Susan realized that she was going to have to find a mentor or counselor to help her temper her sharp tongue and learn how to quit dominating Tom.

We started Tom on our material for men, and Susan on our material for women. When they left my office they had great hope that they would be able to preserve their marriage.

We started Tom on our material for men, and Susan on our material for women. When they left my office they had great hope that they would be able to save their marriage.

My hopes are high. I'll keep you posted.

About the Author:

Have you ever asked "How can I save my marriage?" You are not alone. 100's of thousands have used our marriage advice. Marriage help is available , and get separate help for men. This article, High Hopes For This Marriage is released under a creative commons attribution license.

Real Love - What It Is And Isn't

By Margaret Hardisty

A marriage counselor in our area was talked about passionately throughout an entire page of our newspaper recently. The reporter was wound up because this woman counselor said basically: Go ahead - quarrel! Yell at each other! Get angry! Fight! It will strengthen your marriage.

Sorry, but she's full of nonsense, professional or not. All she is showing, as far as we're concerned, is that she hasn't learned to manage her own emotions or her counsel to others hasn't worked any other way. It got her a lot of attention, but in actuality what she is touting has the opposite effect. It might clear the air to let it all hang out on a temporary basis, but in the long run, there will be things said and actions taken that will bruise and hurt in ways that never will be forgotten.

Over a period of time, people who take their anger out on each other will weaken, not strengthen, their marriages. That isn't real love. When you love someone, you don't treat them like dirt, even when you're hot under the collar. The only people who benefit from that type of behavior are strong willed, controlling individuals who really don't care whom they hurt.

Yes, from time to time to exhibit real love you have to show a glint of steel in your eyes or harden your voice so your partner will know you mean business, but it should be short, infrequent and with their good in mind.

What this counselor is suggesting is an antithesis to what God tells us. Here is a quote that you can memorize today so it will descend deeply into your subconscious and become part of your life. In fact, it would be good to have your family memorize it. We're quoting from the Amplified version of the Bible which makes it more understandable, but it also makes it a little longer. It's a description of what being in love with someone is and ought to be:

Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy; is not boastful or vainglorious; does not display itself haughtily.

It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly.

Love (God's love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way; for it is not self-seeking: it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it.

It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail.

Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person; it's hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything.

To study it further, dust off that Bible that your grandmother gave you and read in the New Testament in the book of I Corinthians, Chapter 13.

We agree with you right now - no one can live up to that description of love completely - but our wager is, you can do a lot better job in showing bona fide affection than you are doing now. Don't use this to hammer at your wife or husband or your teenager to straighten them out - but treasure it as a guide to correct yourself.

Needless to say, these passages are not telling you to quit being a man or to become a weak woman, to quit being tough when you have to be, to quit being strong; but it's telling you to lessen those areas in your life by being conscious of the feelings of others and showing kindness and compassion.

Think of ways today where you can better become a person who really knows how to actually be in love with your wife or husband - and, as a bonus, your children, who sometimes drive you up the wall. If you do, you won't be asking us, "How can I save my marriage?" It will put a spring to your step and a song in your heart.

About the Author:

Are there problems in your marriage? You are not alone. 100's of thousands have used our marriage advice. Save my marriage , and get separate help for women. This article, Real Love - What It Is And Isn't is released under a creative commons attribution license.

Efficient Save My Marriage Advice

By Daniel Williams

Since save my marriage advice is all over the place, if you are trying to find some that works, you obviously need to take care to consider the source. If the advice your get is the proper advice, you are going to be in a good place to save your marriage, otherwise you may be in trouble.

If and when you to turn to another couple for save my marriage advice, be sure it's a couple whose marriage has been a contented and successful one for a while. This way the advice you receive will come from a couple who have been there and done that. Their own experiences may aid to throw light on your own problems that you need to work on. This is principally the case if and when the couple helping you had problems not unlike those you are having.

The church goers among you may learn that your church has offerings that come under the heading of save my marriage advice. This is certainly an exceptional way to find counseling that won't cost you an arm and a leg. Church members may also have great ideas about how to save your marriage that you shouldn't overlook.

Joining a group for couples is another prospect. When you get together with other couples who are struggling with issues in their marriages, you can actually gain a lot of insight into how to solve problems you are having. If you attend such groups with your significant other, you are going to find that a new type of unity can develop between the two of you that may well reignite your old feelings of love for each other.

Have you ever thought of having a date night with your partner once a week? This should be a special time for just the two of you. If you have children, you should get some babysitters lined up. The idea is that this special night with your partner should go smoothly. You don't want unseemly interruptions to disrupt your special time together. Doing this and doing it on a regular basis is not only going to be good for your marriage, but you are also going to have a good time together, like you used to when you were courting and all was fantastic.

About the Author:

A Free Special Report is available with a wealth of information for anyone would would like to learn more about Get Your Marriage Back.

The Trials Of Larry King's Marriage

By Dr. Vance Hardisty

Not long ago I made reference to the abysmal record Larry King has in regard to marriage and wives. His 8th hookup to Shawn Southwick is in the dissolving stage, and although it was reported that they were trying to save the marriage, I suggested that you not hold your breath. Since then, Southwick, according to police reports, purposely took an overdose of drugs.

King is touted as being sexy, appealing and attractive to women, and many theories as to why are suggested by "experts." It certainly wouldn't appear to be his looks. For example, some say it's because he pays attention and since women have a need to be listened to, they are drawn to him. Or...he is non- threatening whereas many men are too domineering with women. Or the ladies can't resist what will become theirs: riches, power, and prominence. Other theories persist; and frankly, although they seem to be correct to a point, they miss the mark overall...the bottom line.

When a man goes through wives as if he were sorting garbage, we need to hearken back to the core reasons why the women want out after awhile, in spite of the wealth, glory and position they acquire by association. Those main reasons are in my books and other material. Throughout I explain the whys, wherefores and what men should do to keep their wives from being crushed.

I can say briefly here that women have emotional needs that men are ordained by God to meet. There are historical as well as obvious contemporary reasons for my saying that. If the men fail in that regard, the women, no matter how beautiful they are and how successful or not successful the men are, wilt and can slip into despair.

Shawn Southwick seemingly is a classic case. Beautiful, vivacious, and the mother of two of King's children, she reportedly became addicted to prescription drugs in 2008. Why? After all, according to the standards of the world, she had everything. Aside from the core reasons I mentioned above, let's look at one glaring possibility. If reports are true that King has been in a sexual relationship with Southwick's sister (which he supposedly denies), that would explain a lot, would it not? A woman can be destroyed by her husband having an affair with anyone - let alone the horrors of that person being her sister.

Add to that a man who appears not to care - we're told that he took days to come to Southwick's side when she took the overdose - and we get a profile of a man whose idea of romance is to woo, win, shut out and drop.

Since I've counseled hundreds, I also see a pattern here - a left brained man who seeks out right brained women - but who is not willing to make required changes to supply the ladies' innermost needs. For example, although he listens on his show to his interviewees, does King listen and talk with his wife? That's doubtful. Left brained people aren't impulsive communicators. Another example: the man appears retiring and almost vulnerable on TV, a factor that may bring out the mother instinct in women. That's his persona that works well as a talk show host; but at home, it's reported that he is different, very tough and definitely in charge. That's okay. My husband is like that, too, but he tempers it with tenderness, kindness and lots of attention. Essential.

Ah, well, the world is occupied of Larry King's, (whether they are famous or not) and their unhappy wives. I don't want you to be so foolish. Your marriage is worth saving and can be saved by your making a few adjustments. If you say, "My marriage is doing just fine," please believe me when I say that it can be better. That's what we're all about - getting to the core reasons behind unhappiness in relationships and going on on that knowledge.

Margaret Hardisty International Best Selling Author Love Relationship Headquarters www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com

About the Author:

Marriages in trouble can find help? 100's of thousands have used our marriage advice. Saving your marriage is what we do best , and get separate help for women. Also published at The Trials Of Larry King's Marriage.

We Can't Talk So Why Try To Save The Marriage?

By Dr. Vance Hardisty

Barbara was angry when she stalked up to us after a seminar with her husband trailing behind her. "Our marriage is in trouble because, frankly, Tyler won't talk to me. If he ever does open his mouth, it's only about him. He's just like my dad. He wouldn't talk, either." Her husband's response was, "Dang, I can't get a word in edgewise. She always dominates the conversation. And if I do say anything, she finishes my thoughts for me and then criticizes everthing I've said."

Jackson's problem was almost the same. "Alyssa refuses to join in with any of the conversations the kids and I have. We ask for her opinion but she acts bored or yawns. Often she leaves the room. She acts irritated when we laugh. I want to keep this marriage, but she's no fun at all." Alyssa sighed deeply. "I enjoy hearing them," she said. "It's just that talking is not something I feel comfortable doing. Besides, Jackson does enough for the two of us. That's all he does - talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk. I wouldn't mind that so much if he wasn't always hounding me to respond." Yes, another pattern.

Both of these marriages were saved because the parties came to understand that opposites attract and they were able to make the adjustments necessary to come to a meeting of the minds.

Marriages don't fall apart simply as a result of what someone says until long after other factors have entered their reality. However, they are weakened considerably when husbands and wives don't understand that couples think and converse differently. If you're a non-talker, you probably married a talker. If you're a person who likes to talk, you probably married a non-talker. Although all of us have some things in common with those we love, in most cases, temperament rules our likes and dislikes. It also rules the way a person carries on - or doesn't carry on - a conversation.

Apply that thinking to when you first met the one you promised to love and stay with the rest of your life. Wasn't it the same back then? One of you talked a lot also. The other didn't, although the non-talker probably put out more effort to have a conversation with you. Either way, the difference in how little or how much you both communicated would have been obvious. However, because you were trying to impress and desired to be impressed during the falling in love stage, you overlooked the fact that the distinction between you was noticeable - if not to you, then to anyone else who might have been observing. It's unfair and unkind to think that, even though you were attracted to someone who was different than you, now you have a right to be upset if he or she doesn't behave the same as you?

Don't be quick to give up on a marriage just because you can't get your spouse to be more like you. Even if you should toss your present union out and opt for a new one, you'd soon discover that the next person in your life would be a lot like the one you dumped. The reason? We each are attracted to certain types of people and that seldom changes. You'd soon be facing much the same type of problems with just a little different face on them. It's far better to save your present marriage by focusing on the strengths that attracted you to your husband/wife in the first place and minimize those things you don't like.

We have tackled the issue of communication head on in all of our books and material because it is a factor in preserving marriages. We reveal why some people converse easily and others don't. We also show talkers how to reduce their talk and non-talkers how to be more communicative so they not only can protect their marriages but, if they've reached the end of their patience, they can save those marriages. You'll find us at: www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com.

Margaret Hardisty International Best Selling Author and Speaker Dr. Vance Hardisty International Speaker and Author Love Relationship Headquarters www.loverelationshipheadquarters.com.

About the Author:

Are there problems in your marriage? You are not alone. 100's of thousands have used our marriage advice. Save your marriage today, and get separate help for women. Unique version for reprint here: We Can't Talk So Why Try To Save The Marriage?.

Saving Your Marriage - Learn To Overcome Those Obstacles

By Certikocent Huyusher

Your marriage is not perfect, but that is only because no one has a perfect marriage. This is one of the things you need to come to realize. Just because someone appears to have that perfect married life you have always wanted does not mean they are really perfect. Sure, actions speak for themselves, but you never see them behind their own walls. There are more than likely a lot of disagreements that go unheard to the visible ear. Saving your marriage is not that hard to do. Sure, it is going to take some time and it cannot be done in a day, but don't you think it is well worth it?

One of the best things you could ever do would be to solve those problems. You don't know exactly what those problems are? Just because those problems are not visible does not mean they do not exist. What you need to do is take the time to sit down with your partner and figure out just what that problem is. Do not leave, until you discover it. After you discover what is troubling that relationship, it is time to move forward to the next step.

It's hard to believe it, but one little thing can tear a marriage apart. When you discover what those troubles are, it is time for you to learn how to fix it. Take note that this step does not just involve you. It involves your spouse as well. The thing with saving married life is that it takes two. Nothing can be done in a marriage when you do it alone.

In order to really succeed at what you are doing, you will need to put both of your minds to it. This does not mean sitting down at the table for an hour or so, then moving forward with your life. You need to continue repairing that relationship and never stop. Why do we say never stop? Because when you neglect a relationship, troubles will occur.

In order to improve, you need to learn what the troubles in your life really are. This is something that can be discussed with your spouse. If your spouse does not know either, then you both need to figure it out and do not give up until you figure it out and find a solution to it.

You need to learn to respect one another for who you are. Yes, he or she has hobbies you do not exactly understand, but that is what makes them their person. Sure, they play video games and it's not fun to you, but we are sure you do other things that are not fun to them. Learn about the other's hobbies. Perhaps, you are not interested in the hobby, because you do not understand it. You see, saving your marriage may not be that piece of cake you had been hoping for, but it is very well possible.

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