Apr 11, 2014

Do You Have The Feeling That Your Marriage Is Falling Apart?

By Herbert Zabala


If you or someone that you know has been through issues in their marriage, you know full well just how difficult things can get. For a lot of people dealing with relationship troubles with their spouse, it can take a whole lot out on you both emotionally and even physically with all of the stress that can take place.

This happens for a variety of reasons. Some people simply have their head in the sand and refuse to acknowledge how bad things really are, for example. Living in a state of denial is not as uncommon as you would think, either.

Too many people grow up with parents that are not happy together. As a result, they do not understand what a marriage is supposed to be like. They think that it is okay not to express feelings of love for one another. They think it is normal to be unhappy the majority of the time. Therefore, when their own marriage becomes tough to endure, they simply think their situation is normal, when in reality, they deserve so much better.

Do not ignore what is happening with your marriage. It is incredibly scary to think about being alone or to come to the conclusion that your marriage is going to be a statistic. You may be worried about your children or how the rest of your family will react to your failing marriage.

Some of the signs of a marriage in trouble include the lack of affection, intimacy and communication. There may be even abuse physically and verbally. If either the husband or the wife make excuses to not be at home all the time, that is a signal that something is wrong. With no communication, problems cannot be solved. You have to recognize and accept what the problem is, then solve it together.

Do not deny what has been happening. Maybe you think that marriage is sacred and don't want to seek help because you are afraid to fail. Other people may stay in a bad marriage because they are doing it for their children, or they don't want to disappoint their family and friends. You don't have to sacrifice your happiness to protect them. Admit what is happen, then seek help.

Keep in mind that it is not just your happiness that is at stake. Your health may be in jeopardy as well. Research indicates that people in bad marriages have higher stress levels and worse health. That often leads to things like heart problems, depression or even eating disorders. In addition, it may compromise your immune system.

The unfortunate news is that only about one percent of married couples actually seek counseling. Maybe you know what the problem is but you fear admitting it. A counselor can help you bring out the truth and offer advice that can help.

Keeping a positive attitude is very important, but remember, you can't turn a blind eye to everything that is going wrong with your marriage. Only by addressing your problems can you seek effective solutions.

It may be hard to talk about your problems, but the only alternative is to suffer in silence. You can fix your marriage, but you have to be willing to work at it and to communicate openly and honestly with your partner.

Before you do anything else, though, make sure you really want to save your marriage. If you do, there is nothing stopping you other than yourself.




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