Apr 27, 2012

Learn The Secrets Of How To Solve Problems In Marriage

By Greg Deetz


All couples struggle and all couples suffer problems. As such, all couples will desire to know how to solve problems in marriage without the kind of battle that worsens the married woes. The happiest couples appear to be the ones who bare their differences and still struggle over their problems. But the dispute between divorced couples and cheerful couples is that the latter know how to fight fair, struggle positive and fight in a loving manner even when the problems seem to be insurmountable for the formers' standards. Here are the ways that you can lick matrimonial problems without the destructive fights that possibly could result to the breakup of your marriage.

Agree to Disagree Throughout the early on stages of your relationship and well into your engagement, you should have learned the primary principle of how to lick problems in marriage without destructive fights - agree to disagree. Even when you are insanely, crazily and helplessly in love with each other, you will experience personality quirks, habits and attributes that the other will not like, much less love. But that does not mean that you do not love and you are not in love with each other either. You will merely have to learn to agree to disagree. You will try to understand the other person's point of view according to his past experiences, present expectations and yet to come aspirations in the same way that you also want your spouse to understand your own point of view. When you have complete understanding on both your sides, you are well on your way to adopting the ways how to solve problems in marriage without the petty fights.

Monitor Your Negative Emotions It is a normal human response to lash out against an object or subject of negative emotions from regular frustration to vivid rage. Your partner may have committed a small transgression like using the credit card for an unneeded purchase or a big sin like having an adulterous affair. You are justified in your feelings of frustration, fury and other negative emotions since these are all common for humans.

But you may not be justified in engaging in a barrage of violent wrath, scathing criticism and emotional murder of your mate. Your spouse will not be expected to merely sit back, relax and let the maltreatment prevail for he/she is only human, too. And so the bitter fights commence and this is definitely not the proper way how to solve problems in marriage.

Instead, discuss your marital problems in a quiet, cool and composed fashion. It will be difficult, of course, but you must both work at it because there are no winners in a yelling match - only losers and perhaps entertained neighbors that are the only ones getting each of your sides. Simply try to retain your anger levels down and start getting your loving levels upward.



Last but not least, go for a win-win result. You will not be happy even when you win in a loving struggle but you will be ecstatic when your spouse is happy as well. Finally, the best way how to solve problems in marriage is to approach these problems as a team and then come out as a stronger unit.




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