A marriage seldom can be saved when a father becomes lewd and/or incestuous toward his children. Luckily, some men just need a wake-up call to straighten them out.
George and I (Margaret) were giving a marriage seminar when an attendee came up to me and said, "I've got a big problem. See that guy over there in the second row...the one who is smirking? That's my husband." He wasn't difficult to spot. "He refuses to get a job. I'm at work every day. Now I find out that he's coming on to our 16 year old daughter in a lustful way. She said to me, 'Mom, keep that person away from me.'"
She did want to save her marriage but only if his perverse behavior changed. "Quit your job," I said. "Don't warn him. Just leave. Then tell him that you no longer will be getting an income and if he wants to eat, he's going to have to work. Also tell him that if he makes just one more lustful move toward your daughter or even looks at her in a sexual way - you're calling the authorities and will have him arrested."
Later that week, we heard a knock on our hotel room door. She burst in, laughing. "Thank you, thank you, thank you," she said. "It's working! I quit my job the next day after I talked with you. I told my husband and he found a job the same day I quit mine. And - get this - he promised he would never make our daughter feel uncomfortable again. He apologized to her and me with tears in his eyes. He said, 'I don't want to lose either of you. I want to save our marriage and not have my daughter hate me."
I wish it were so easy. Some vulgar dads, though, would prefer not to save their marriages, but finish them in order to follow their lustful instincts. Woody Allen comes to mind. Allen, Hollywood movie producer, has one biological child, Roman Seanas Farrow, who is quoted as saying: He's my father married to my sister. That makes me his son and his brother-in-law. That is such a moral transgression, I cannot see him. I cannot have a relationship with my father and be morally consistent. I lived with all these adopted children, so they are my family. To say Soon-Yi was not my sister is an insult o all adopted children.
During the trial, allegations that he molested another of his "step-daughters" wasn't proven but the judge who listened to the case was worried enough that Allen was denied visitation rights with the alleged victim and allowed to see his biological son only under supervision.
Allen's remarks that he probably should have done some things differently in that he could have ended his relationship with Farrow a lot sooner - revealed his lack of regret, empathy and love. That's born out by his attitude toward other marriages he'd had that he apparently made no attempts to save.
Allen's comments that he probably should have done some things another way in that he could have ended his relationship with Farrow a lot sooner - revealed his lack of regret, empathy and love. That's born out by his attitude toward additional marriages he'd had that he reportedly made no attempts to save.
The tragic thing about lewd dads is, they either are in denial about the abuse, or they refuse to admit their transgressions. Rather than try to save their marriages and relationships, they usually move on, often to wreak more havoc on other lives.
With several marriages and long term lovers in his past and present, one wonders what in the world attracted so many women to Allen It must have been his genius, power and money. It certainly wasn't his looks. 1) If you are a father who is attracted sexually to one of your children; 2) if you are a woman married to such a man; 3) if you are a child who has a father who is making you feel uncomfortable by the way he acts toward you - please, all of you, get help. Such predatory behavior is not normal. It is evil. Incest is condemned by God. While you are getting help, set your thoughts on preserving your relationships in a healthy manner, saving your marriage; healing your souls and minds; and moving into line with God's commands.
George and I (Margaret) were giving a marriage seminar when an attendee came up to me and said, "I've got a big problem. See that guy over there in the second row...the one who is smirking? That's my husband." He wasn't difficult to spot. "He refuses to get a job. I'm at work every day. Now I find out that he's coming on to our 16 year old daughter in a lustful way. She said to me, 'Mom, keep that person away from me.'"
She did want to save her marriage but only if his perverse behavior changed. "Quit your job," I said. "Don't warn him. Just leave. Then tell him that you no longer will be getting an income and if he wants to eat, he's going to have to work. Also tell him that if he makes just one more lustful move toward your daughter or even looks at her in a sexual way - you're calling the authorities and will have him arrested."
Later that week, we heard a knock on our hotel room door. She burst in, laughing. "Thank you, thank you, thank you," she said. "It's working! I quit my job the next day after I talked with you. I told my husband and he found a job the same day I quit mine. And - get this - he promised he would never make our daughter feel uncomfortable again. He apologized to her and me with tears in his eyes. He said, 'I don't want to lose either of you. I want to save our marriage and not have my daughter hate me."
I wish it were so easy. Some vulgar dads, though, would prefer not to save their marriages, but finish them in order to follow their lustful instincts. Woody Allen comes to mind. Allen, Hollywood movie producer, has one biological child, Roman Seanas Farrow, who is quoted as saying: He's my father married to my sister. That makes me his son and his brother-in-law. That is such a moral transgression, I cannot see him. I cannot have a relationship with my father and be morally consistent. I lived with all these adopted children, so they are my family. To say Soon-Yi was not my sister is an insult o all adopted children.
During the trial, allegations that he molested another of his "step-daughters" wasn't proven but the judge who listened to the case was worried enough that Allen was denied visitation rights with the alleged victim and allowed to see his biological son only under supervision.
Allen's remarks that he probably should have done some things differently in that he could have ended his relationship with Farrow a lot sooner - revealed his lack of regret, empathy and love. That's born out by his attitude toward other marriages he'd had that he apparently made no attempts to save.
Allen's comments that he probably should have done some things another way in that he could have ended his relationship with Farrow a lot sooner - revealed his lack of regret, empathy and love. That's born out by his attitude toward additional marriages he'd had that he reportedly made no attempts to save.
The tragic thing about lewd dads is, they either are in denial about the abuse, or they refuse to admit their transgressions. Rather than try to save their marriages and relationships, they usually move on, often to wreak more havoc on other lives.
With several marriages and long term lovers in his past and present, one wonders what in the world attracted so many women to Allen It must have been his genius, power and money. It certainly wasn't his looks. 1) If you are a father who is attracted sexually to one of your children; 2) if you are a woman married to such a man; 3) if you are a child who has a father who is making you feel uncomfortable by the way he acts toward you - please, all of you, get help. Such predatory behavior is not normal. It is evil. Incest is condemned by God. While you are getting help, set your thoughts on preserving your relationships in a healthy manner, saving your marriage; healing your souls and minds; and moving into line with God's commands.
About the Author:
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