The prospects of pulling a couple together after the shock of an emotional affair are complicated. The level of emotions involved are tripled because the person in the affair has lingering feelings outside the marriage, and the person who was cheated on feels even more hurt than if the affair were purely physical in nature. So, what exactly can be done to save a marriage after this mess has been created?
The problem is not so much the affair, but the "emotional" part. Affairs of the body happen every day and many marriages recover from that shock much easier than most would expect. Yet, when one person has a real intimate connection with someone other than their spouse it is much harder to set aside and move on.
The first part of the journey lies with the spouse who actually had the affair. They must do some serious introspection to determine where their feelings truly lie. Is their heart still with this other person, or are their emotions for their spouse more intense? The emotions connected to the affair must be completely put out or at least seriously dampened if the marriage is to have a fighting chance.
If the connection of the affair has been broken, then the journey shifts focus to the other spouse.
If one person is willing to let go of a deep emotional connection to someone else, then the second person needs to be open to actively rekindling trust and ultimately a deeper emotional connection between the couple. If either person is not willing to let go and reinvest in the relationship then it will never work.
Things will likely never be "normal" again after an emotional affair. Yet, if both people are actively working toward the future together then a new normalcy and an even stronger sense of happiness can come about in time. It will just require a period of time where both people work toward reconnecting, rebuilding a strong sense of trust, and becoming closer together again.
It is entirely possible to save a marriage after one person has experienced an emotional affair, but it must all start with open conversations. That doesn't mean screaming and yelling, but genuinely talking and listening so that everyone is heard and understood. Only then will it be possible to move forward with action that makes it better.
The problem is not so much the affair, but the "emotional" part. Affairs of the body happen every day and many marriages recover from that shock much easier than most would expect. Yet, when one person has a real intimate connection with someone other than their spouse it is much harder to set aside and move on.
The first part of the journey lies with the spouse who actually had the affair. They must do some serious introspection to determine where their feelings truly lie. Is their heart still with this other person, or are their emotions for their spouse more intense? The emotions connected to the affair must be completely put out or at least seriously dampened if the marriage is to have a fighting chance.
If the connection of the affair has been broken, then the journey shifts focus to the other spouse.
If one person is willing to let go of a deep emotional connection to someone else, then the second person needs to be open to actively rekindling trust and ultimately a deeper emotional connection between the couple. If either person is not willing to let go and reinvest in the relationship then it will never work.
Things will likely never be "normal" again after an emotional affair. Yet, if both people are actively working toward the future together then a new normalcy and an even stronger sense of happiness can come about in time. It will just require a period of time where both people work toward reconnecting, rebuilding a strong sense of trust, and becoming closer together again.
It is entirely possible to save a marriage after one person has experienced an emotional affair, but it must all start with open conversations. That doesn't mean screaming and yelling, but genuinely talking and listening so that everyone is heard and understood. Only then will it be possible to move forward with action that makes it better.
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