Among the most dreaded words a partner can be told are "I love you, but I'm not in love with you." Too often, we get so far before we start to worry about how to assist our marriage to grow and be strong. These words can seemingly come from out of the blue or there could possibly be problems in the marriage that you just aren't dealing with. Whether there was infidelity or some other instance of broken trust in the relationship, or there was abuse, boredom, or any number of other issues, you will need to actively work at saving your marriage to build the healthy, happy relationship that you always wanted it to be.
The First Step to Saving Your Marriage:
Any marriage has highs and lows which are a standard part of the flow of things. Whenever you undergo an extended period of lows, on the other hand, there may be a problem. Until you discover what that problem is, you are not going to have the confidence to make it better. In some instances, concentrating on the issue that's making you fight on a regular basis or that has been hurting one of you is simple.
You could possibly be fighting over money or even you will be upset your spouse doesn't appear to have an interest in you physically anymore. For others, the reason for the issues may be less obvious. In case you have to get counseling to establish what the issues are, then do it. You can't find solutions without knowing the problems.
The Second Step to Saving Your Marriage:
Once you have identified the problem or problems, you might take a practical approach to making them go away. This is going to require you to definitely sit down and talk calmly and honestly about making a plan for making things better. This is probably going to become more difficult than you expect it to be. Even those problems that appear minor are often very complex once you start acting on them. Often that's because your spouse is the one who considers it to be a deal breaker and when things have gotten to the purpose where you are at risk of losing your relationship, they've peaked.
You may have to try and do more than adjust your attitude so one can begin saving your marriage. In particular, if your wife has delivered the "I love you, but I'm not in love with you" message and she or he may be avoiding any kind of intimacy with you for months, chances are you'll be confused about what usually are a sudden change in their feelings. When she or he tells you that the change with your appearance has completely cooled them off, do you think you're will be willing to attempt to get yourself in shape in order to begin saving your marriage?
The problem can also be something like the truth that they feel rejected by you since you haven't touched them in six months. If he or she has put on an amount of weight or just isn't taking care of themselves and you do not see them in the same way, that you must put your cards on the table as well. With these kinds of issues, it is important never to be accusatory or point a finger of blame. Use the word "I" as opposed to the word "you".
The Third Step to Saving Your Marriage:
You should have time to help your marital problems go away, regardless of what they are. Whether you select to receive counseling or work on the problems yourself, it takes time to discover solutions to your problems also to heal from the damage that they've already done. Always remember that you're working to change your marriage and never your spouse. It's the relationship that needs mending and you may both have to work at it and at finding what you admire most in each other in order to fall in love again.
The First Step to Saving Your Marriage:
Any marriage has highs and lows which are a standard part of the flow of things. Whenever you undergo an extended period of lows, on the other hand, there may be a problem. Until you discover what that problem is, you are not going to have the confidence to make it better. In some instances, concentrating on the issue that's making you fight on a regular basis or that has been hurting one of you is simple.
You could possibly be fighting over money or even you will be upset your spouse doesn't appear to have an interest in you physically anymore. For others, the reason for the issues may be less obvious. In case you have to get counseling to establish what the issues are, then do it. You can't find solutions without knowing the problems.
The Second Step to Saving Your Marriage:
Once you have identified the problem or problems, you might take a practical approach to making them go away. This is going to require you to definitely sit down and talk calmly and honestly about making a plan for making things better. This is probably going to become more difficult than you expect it to be. Even those problems that appear minor are often very complex once you start acting on them. Often that's because your spouse is the one who considers it to be a deal breaker and when things have gotten to the purpose where you are at risk of losing your relationship, they've peaked.
You may have to try and do more than adjust your attitude so one can begin saving your marriage. In particular, if your wife has delivered the "I love you, but I'm not in love with you" message and she or he may be avoiding any kind of intimacy with you for months, chances are you'll be confused about what usually are a sudden change in their feelings. When she or he tells you that the change with your appearance has completely cooled them off, do you think you're will be willing to attempt to get yourself in shape in order to begin saving your marriage?
The problem can also be something like the truth that they feel rejected by you since you haven't touched them in six months. If he or she has put on an amount of weight or just isn't taking care of themselves and you do not see them in the same way, that you must put your cards on the table as well. With these kinds of issues, it is important never to be accusatory or point a finger of blame. Use the word "I" as opposed to the word "you".
The Third Step to Saving Your Marriage:
You should have time to help your marital problems go away, regardless of what they are. Whether you select to receive counseling or work on the problems yourself, it takes time to discover solutions to your problems also to heal from the damage that they've already done. Always remember that you're working to change your marriage and never your spouse. It's the relationship that needs mending and you may both have to work at it and at finding what you admire most in each other in order to fall in love again.
About the Author:
For more related information on saving your marriage, stop by Don Price's site for great ideas to save your relationship.
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