Oct 25, 2010

Effective Help Save Marriage Tips

By Jack Carter

A number of the most dreaded terms a spouse can listen to are "I love you, but I'm not in love with you." Too often, we get to this point before we start to worry about how to help our marriage grow and be tough. These words can seemingly come from nowhere or there may be issues in the marriage that you just are not dealing with. Whether there has been disloyalty or another instance of broken hope in the connection, or there has been abuse, boredom, or any number of other problems, you'll need to actively work to help save marriage and make it the healthy, happy relationship that you always wanted it to be.

The First Step to Help Save Marriage Problems Go Away

Any marriage has highs and lows which are a normal part of the flow of things. When you undergo an extended period of lows, however, there may be a problem. Until you recognize what that problem is, you are not going to have the confidence to make it better. In some circumstances, focusing on the problem that's making you fight always or that is hurting one of you is simple.

You might be fighting over money or even you are upset that your other half does not seem to have an interest in you physically anymore. For other people, the reason for the problems may be less apparent. If you have to get therapy to work out what the problems are, then do it. You cannot get solutions without aware the problems.

The Second Step to Help Save Marriage Problems Go Away

Once you have identified the issue or problems, you can take a practicable approach to making them go away. This is going to require you to sit down and converse peacefully and honestly regarding making a plan for making things better. This is probably going to be harder than you anticipate it to be. Even those problems that appear minor can be very complicated once you start acting on them. Often that is because your other half is the one who considers it to be a deal breaker and by the point things have gotten to the point where you're in danger of losing your relationship, they have peaked.

You will have to do a lot more than adjust your approach so as to help save marriage problems go away. For instance, if your spouse has delivered the "I love you, but I'm not in love with you" message and she or he have been avoiding any form of intimacy with you for months, you may be confused regarding what usually have been a unexpected change in her or his feelings. When your spouse tells you that the 50-pound beer gut you have put on has completely cooled her or him off, are you likely to be willing to decide to getting yourself in shape in order to help save marriage problems go away?

The issue may also be something similar to the fact that he or she feels rejected by you since you haven't touched him or her in six months. If your spouse has put on a lot of heaviness or just is not taking care of herself or himself and you don't see your spouse in the same way, you have to put your cards on the table as well. With most of these issues, it's important never to be harsh or point a finger of condemn. Use the word "I" instead of the word "you".

The Third Step to Help Save Marriage Problems Go Away

You have to have time to help save marriage problems go away, no matter what they are. Whether you select to have psychotherapy or work on the issues yourself, you will need time to seek out solutions for your problems also to heal from the damage that they've previously done. Always keep in mind that you might be working to change your marriage and not your spouse. It's the relationship that needs mending and you'll both have to work at it and at finding what you admire most in one another in order to fall in love again.

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