If your goal is to reconnect with your ex and rebuild the relationship you will need to contact them at some point. Don't take this step to early, to often, not often enough, or to late.
Too early would be a mistake. Contacting them too early will almost certainly appear desperate and could convince them they made the right choice by breaking up.
You can easily give the impression that you did not care about the relationship, and that you have no desire to try to recover it by contacting them to late.
Too often will be quickly be seen as clingy, and will very likely push them towards moving on.
You again risk making your ex feel as though you've gotten over them if you don't contact them often enough.
You may be too worried that your ex will move on to wait patiently. In that case there is something you can do that will let them know you still want to be with them and are willing to make some effort. This will let them know you really mean it and care about them in a way that isn't desperate or clingy.
Decide on a means of contact that is brief and casual. You need to make sure that you won't be sucked into a long discussion, as you are not trying to reconcile at that moment.
Calling on the phone is a good choice since hearing the sincerity in your voice will help your ex take you more seriously. Have a low pressure, face to face meeting at a coffee shop.
Email, although not ideal, is an easy way to keep the conversation brief. A handwritten letter is an alright method, it is more personal and people enjoy getting mail that isn't a bill.
You will be contacting your ex to give them a heads up of your plan. Keep it short and sweet, no debate about what is your fault and what isn't, no excuses, and you don't need to lay out your plan step by step. You can just say:
"I want another chance for us. I am going to work on myself and I will talk to you again as a better, happier, healthier, etc.. individual that is ready for a relationship, and I will do whatever it takes for as long as it takes to rebuild a relationship with you."
Enough said. If you will be contacting your ex by letter or email, it is ready to send, and if you are telling them over the phone or saying it to them face to face, end with "I wanted to let you know" and change the subject. This is only meant as notification that they should keep the door open, because someday you are going to be walking through it a better person.
Now put some effort in and really do it. You will keep yourself occupied and have less thoughts of what your ex is up to right now. Also, you will be making your own life better and who wouldn't want a piece of that?
Too early would be a mistake. Contacting them too early will almost certainly appear desperate and could convince them they made the right choice by breaking up.
You can easily give the impression that you did not care about the relationship, and that you have no desire to try to recover it by contacting them to late.
Too often will be quickly be seen as clingy, and will very likely push them towards moving on.
You again risk making your ex feel as though you've gotten over them if you don't contact them often enough.
You may be too worried that your ex will move on to wait patiently. In that case there is something you can do that will let them know you still want to be with them and are willing to make some effort. This will let them know you really mean it and care about them in a way that isn't desperate or clingy.
Decide on a means of contact that is brief and casual. You need to make sure that you won't be sucked into a long discussion, as you are not trying to reconcile at that moment.
Calling on the phone is a good choice since hearing the sincerity in your voice will help your ex take you more seriously. Have a low pressure, face to face meeting at a coffee shop.
Email, although not ideal, is an easy way to keep the conversation brief. A handwritten letter is an alright method, it is more personal and people enjoy getting mail that isn't a bill.
You will be contacting your ex to give them a heads up of your plan. Keep it short and sweet, no debate about what is your fault and what isn't, no excuses, and you don't need to lay out your plan step by step. You can just say:
"I want another chance for us. I am going to work on myself and I will talk to you again as a better, happier, healthier, etc.. individual that is ready for a relationship, and I will do whatever it takes for as long as it takes to rebuild a relationship with you."
Enough said. If you will be contacting your ex by letter or email, it is ready to send, and if you are telling them over the phone or saying it to them face to face, end with "I wanted to let you know" and change the subject. This is only meant as notification that they should keep the door open, because someday you are going to be walking through it a better person.
Now put some effort in and really do it. You will keep yourself occupied and have less thoughts of what your ex is up to right now. Also, you will be making your own life better and who wouldn't want a piece of that?
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