Jan 1, 2012

Separation Save Marriage - Really True?

By Trinia Poloan


The decision to separate can seem drastic to some people. Granted, there are most likely some severe issues in a relationship when the only decision left to be made is to move apart for a while. It seems that it would be possible to save a marriage by separating, but there must be clearly defined parameters for this time apart. Will separation save marriage? It's something to try!

Both spouses must agree that during the separation they will not date anyone else. This time apart could possibly be used to reflect on the relationship and work on issues individually with a counselor. It can also be used to allow the husband and wife to think about what drew them to their spouse in the first place.

If one party in the separation doesn't agree with taking time apart, things can become difficult. It is usually better to reach an agreement with your spouse to decide how long you will be apart and what goals you think you can accomplish while separated. A good counselor can help each person in the relationship to define their goals and to reach an understanding together.

Children are often caused the most stress by a damaged marriage. If children are involved in the relationship, separation might not be the best solution. It's difficult to make a child understand why their mother or father must leave for a period of time. It's hard for a child to understand adult relationships even when there is no problem, imagine how hard it will be when the parents are arguing about moving apart. Consider separation very carefully before involving children.

Some separations lead to an awakening for one partner or the other. The shock of losing their partner becomes a reality and it could shock the spouse into working harder to make the marriage better for both parties. Or, once they have moved away from their partner, the spouse might realize that the marriage is indeed over. These issues have to be considered before deciding to leave your spouse for a separation.

In conclusion, can separation save marriage? It can have both good and bad effects on both the people involved and the relationship itself. Consider very carefully before deciding to spend time living separately from your spouse. It's always possible that there could be a better way to save your marriage.




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