Keeping you marriage alive can be a very hard thing to accomplish. It can be a very sad thing to watch a once happy union fall apart. Sometimes, even when both partners want it to work, they helplessly watch it fall apart. Usually, armed with a little information it is possible to save your marriage.
Understand Your Feelings
Everyday arguments are usually about petty things. If you dig into your feelings a bit further, you will probably discover that it was something else entirely that had angered you, the petty stuff was just an excuse to fight. You may discover that although the argument was about your spouse being inconsiderate in some way, what is really hurting you is the idea that what you want is not important to you spouse. If you discover the real reasons for your anger then you can try to fix them.
Don't Lie
Being honest is not always an easy thing to do. However, if you want to save your marriage you will need to be completely honest, not only with your spouse but more importantly with yourself. If you aren't, the resentment and anger that has been building throughout your marriage will never go away. Be honest about what makes you feel angry or hurt, but also be honest about what you need to be happy.
Let Go
There are so many things that can happen day to day in a marriage to cause pain and frustration. You need to teach yourself to let go of those bad feelings on a daily basis. Anything you don't let go of will simply provide a platform for the next days anger. Soon you may have created a very large wall of bad feelings that will be almost impossible to get over.
Get Outside Help
Even when both spouses have the best intentions, it can often be hard to make this journey alone. It may be easiest if you can find an impartial observer that can give you rational and unbiased advice. This will only be successful if both spouses are comfortable with the counselor.
If both you and your spouse are willing to put in the hard work, it is almost always possible to save your marriage. Remember the good times and that may give you the incentive to find them again.
Understand Your Feelings
Everyday arguments are usually about petty things. If you dig into your feelings a bit further, you will probably discover that it was something else entirely that had angered you, the petty stuff was just an excuse to fight. You may discover that although the argument was about your spouse being inconsiderate in some way, what is really hurting you is the idea that what you want is not important to you spouse. If you discover the real reasons for your anger then you can try to fix them.
Don't Lie
Being honest is not always an easy thing to do. However, if you want to save your marriage you will need to be completely honest, not only with your spouse but more importantly with yourself. If you aren't, the resentment and anger that has been building throughout your marriage will never go away. Be honest about what makes you feel angry or hurt, but also be honest about what you need to be happy.
Let Go
There are so many things that can happen day to day in a marriage to cause pain and frustration. You need to teach yourself to let go of those bad feelings on a daily basis. Anything you don't let go of will simply provide a platform for the next days anger. Soon you may have created a very large wall of bad feelings that will be almost impossible to get over.
Get Outside Help
Even when both spouses have the best intentions, it can often be hard to make this journey alone. It may be easiest if you can find an impartial observer that can give you rational and unbiased advice. This will only be successful if both spouses are comfortable with the counselor.
If both you and your spouse are willing to put in the hard work, it is almost always possible to save your marriage. Remember the good times and that may give you the incentive to find them again.
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