What does the way you speak to your spouse have to do with your lingering marriage problems? If you are to a point of absolute misery in your marriage but want to work things out so you can stay together, the first thing you need to do is analyze how you are communicating with one another when it comes to discussing your relationship.
What you want when you initiate a conversation with your spouse is for them to relax and be open to what you have to say. Yet, most people actually approach the conversation with a tone that is too rough or accusatory and essentially puts the other person on guard instead. This is not deliberate, but it is why so many people do not understand why their spouse doesn't respond to them well.
Chances are you do the same thing on a regular basis without even realizing it! So many people say they just don't understand why their spouse won't open up and talk to them. What they don't realize is that they are shutting down that possibility by the tone of their voice or their choice of words when they initiate the conversation.
The issue is likely the huge rush of raw emotion that lies just behind every conversation you have with your spouse. This is an unavoidable fact of marital tension, but you have to recognize its existence before you can move beyond it. If you want to get through to your spouse, you will need to adopt new methods of opening conversations.
First, make sure to initiate conversations at a time that is convenient and comfortable for your spouse. Don't approach them right after they walk in the door from a hard day of work or as they try to figure out how to get all the bills paid when the checking account is short.
Next, you want to control your tone of voice so that it does not even hint that you may be angry with them or that you blame them for something that is going on. The wrong tone can shut down any chance of your spouse really listening to you before you even get to what you really want to say.
Finally, write down what you want to say ahead of time and carefully select every single word so that you do not state things in an accusatory way. Say whatever you want to say but make it about your feelings, thoughts, desires, and needs. If you can state how much you still love them it may help as well.
This is a way to open the door for deeper conversation so that you move beyond the blame and angry accusations and really start to fix your marriage problems before it is too late.
What you want when you initiate a conversation with your spouse is for them to relax and be open to what you have to say. Yet, most people actually approach the conversation with a tone that is too rough or accusatory and essentially puts the other person on guard instead. This is not deliberate, but it is why so many people do not understand why their spouse doesn't respond to them well.
Chances are you do the same thing on a regular basis without even realizing it! So many people say they just don't understand why their spouse won't open up and talk to them. What they don't realize is that they are shutting down that possibility by the tone of their voice or their choice of words when they initiate the conversation.
The issue is likely the huge rush of raw emotion that lies just behind every conversation you have with your spouse. This is an unavoidable fact of marital tension, but you have to recognize its existence before you can move beyond it. If you want to get through to your spouse, you will need to adopt new methods of opening conversations.
First, make sure to initiate conversations at a time that is convenient and comfortable for your spouse. Don't approach them right after they walk in the door from a hard day of work or as they try to figure out how to get all the bills paid when the checking account is short.
Next, you want to control your tone of voice so that it does not even hint that you may be angry with them or that you blame them for something that is going on. The wrong tone can shut down any chance of your spouse really listening to you before you even get to what you really want to say.
Finally, write down what you want to say ahead of time and carefully select every single word so that you do not state things in an accusatory way. Say whatever you want to say but make it about your feelings, thoughts, desires, and needs. If you can state how much you still love them it may help as well.
This is a way to open the door for deeper conversation so that you move beyond the blame and angry accusations and really start to fix your marriage problems before it is too late.
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