Oct 19, 2010

What's Hot And Not On How To Save A Relationship

By Samantha Jaim

The best technique on saving a relationship relies on the kind of problem you are facing in your relationship right now. Determine whether your problems are major or just minor ones. You should also ask yourself if the efforts done to make your relationship work are solely coming from you or from the collaboration with your partner. Answer these questions first so that you will know how to save a relationship using the best techniques.

If you and your partner are willing enough and are able to work together, you will have greater chances on successfully fixing your relationship. It's difficult and almost impossible trying to solve the relationship problems alone. When you and your partner become mature and start to realize what needs to be changed and act on it, not only will your relationship be fixed but you will also become better individuals.

In order to fix a relationship, the first thing to do is to know the problem you are dealing with. What do you think are the major issues? It may look like an easy question but it's really difficult to slice through every garbage and baggage that has mounted up for many years and pin down the real problems. They may be difficult to pin down because they are sometimes hidden by insignificant things.

With this first step, you might need a longer time to do it. Having someone who you trust can also help both of you to make things work out. A lot of people get scared if they go to a counselor maybe because of what the counselor will say. They never want the counselor to get an impression that they are bad people so they decide not to go.

Having this attitude is a wrong thing to do. You need to think whether saving a relationship or being proper is what you are after. It is possible that the counselor will guide you in finding the qualities you have that are detrimental. This may never be something pleasurable to the ears, but isn't it worth it if in the course of time you will grow into a better partner and a human being? Are you not interested in finding the gladness in both your relationship and in your life as a whole? Although honesty is required for your soul searching, you will find sooner or later that it is a worthy thing to do.

Begin with yourself. You will be able to change only yourself even if your partner also has personal problems to tackle. Optimistically, they will become interested in making personal changes particularly when you are observed as being able to progress in your life. But still, you won't be able to make them do it. Just focus on making your own changes and think positive about seeing the best outcome because that's all that you can do. Don't let your attention be diverted by the imperfections of your partner and never use them as an alibi if you are unable to cause any changes to yourself. Concentrate on what you need to do as you remain being optimistic that your partner will soon do it too.

You may be able to save a relationship, but what is really needed is the united effort that comes from the two of you. If you are not cooperating with each other, it will be harder trying to find out how to save a relationship and succeed.

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