Feb 4, 2011

Saving Marriages

By Roselah Varde


If your marriage is in the verge of divorce, countercheck the quality of trust, fidelity, and communication. They are vital to the survival once you get into a married life. If you feel it's worthy to salvage your marriage, then give it a shot.

Tip 1: The Skill of Communication.

It may seem like something that comes natural at birth. However, communication, especially in a relationship, is a skill. As with any skill, communication takes time and practice to be good at it.

Since this is a skill, you can begin transition to the higher level when you mastered the basic essentials of primary communication. As a matter of fact, professionals improve their relationship with colleagues, peers, and other people using effective therapeutic communication skills.

The point of this is that you need to understand that communication is not something that is either there or not; and if it's not your marriage is doomed. Communication is something that requires some work and commitment from you and your spouse. If you and your spouse have a hard time truly communicating, it is something that can be learned.

Step 2: Promise to each other to be 100% honest

Tip 2: Honest Promises.

One of the biggest problems with trying to heal a marriage after adultery is getting through trust issues. Whether there was infidelity in your marriage or not, you should both promise to be completely honest with each other from this point forward and let that be the cornerstone of your marriage.

Tip 3: Do not lie.

Any form of lies, white or evil, should be avoided. You may feel some hesitations to reveal what you have to reveal but take the challenge now than suffer your whole marriage. It may hurt your spouse if you reveal something to them, but he/she has the right to know.

Gather more courage because dishonesty has no place in marriage. Exercise absolute honesty and reveal your deepest secrets one by one. Your spouse has to know for him/her to understand the situation better.

Temptations are everywhere. When at the verge of committing dishonesty, explain to your spouse why you have to keep the information temporarily. Otherwise, tell him/her honestly the necessary information he/she needs to know. Clean conscience is far better than faking your spouse.

In this article I touched on three steps that are important for opening up the lines of communication again in your marriage. This is by no means a cure all answer to the question, "how can I save my marriage?" However, these three tips are a good first step to begin honest dialog with your spouse again, which is important in the process of saving your marriage.




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