Recovering from infidelity is a most difficult and trying time in one's life, and you may wonder if there is any hope to save your marriage. After dealing with the initial shock and horror of the news, you may need to take time to decide if the bonds between you and your spouse will ever be repaired.
Discovering that your spouse has had an affair is nothing short of devastating. You probably feel like you have been socked in the gut and you may not be able to get the negative thoughts and images out of your mind. Lack of answers and communication from your spouse will only make you feel worse, and you may start to wonder if ending your marriage is the only solution.
Affairs in marriage have shown to be fairly common, but sadly, many are not willing to make an effort to save the marriage after the affair. Although it can seem overwhelming at first, and to emotionally taxing, couples who are willing to put the time and effort into salvaging things can certainly overcome this devastating event. It will be necessary to ask yourself what you are wiling to do to make things work out for you and your marriage.
Is your cheating spouse willing to to work WITH you to repair the marriage? If they are they will have ended the affair 100% and will feel remorseful for ever betraying you in such a way. They must also be willing to enter therapy with you and expressed desire in working things out together. Make sure they use action, not just words, to prove their desire to save the marriage.
Can you make the promise to do the necessary work to save your relationship? Even though you did not cause this damage, after the affair you are the one who needs to be wiling to deal with your own emotions. If you are suffering from sad, lonely and negative thoughts now, you can make the decision to learn tools and tricks to change those thoughts. Even though it is difficult, if you are up for the challenge you can learn to rebuild yourself and your marriage.
Asking these tough questions does not mean you will have the answer right away. Talk them over with your partner, decide together that this is what you want and need. The trauma and pain of the affair and deciding how to move forward are all the beginning steps in recovering from infidelity.
Discovering that your spouse has had an affair is nothing short of devastating. You probably feel like you have been socked in the gut and you may not be able to get the negative thoughts and images out of your mind. Lack of answers and communication from your spouse will only make you feel worse, and you may start to wonder if ending your marriage is the only solution.
Affairs in marriage have shown to be fairly common, but sadly, many are not willing to make an effort to save the marriage after the affair. Although it can seem overwhelming at first, and to emotionally taxing, couples who are willing to put the time and effort into salvaging things can certainly overcome this devastating event. It will be necessary to ask yourself what you are wiling to do to make things work out for you and your marriage.
Is your cheating spouse willing to to work WITH you to repair the marriage? If they are they will have ended the affair 100% and will feel remorseful for ever betraying you in such a way. They must also be willing to enter therapy with you and expressed desire in working things out together. Make sure they use action, not just words, to prove their desire to save the marriage.
Can you make the promise to do the necessary work to save your relationship? Even though you did not cause this damage, after the affair you are the one who needs to be wiling to deal with your own emotions. If you are suffering from sad, lonely and negative thoughts now, you can make the decision to learn tools and tricks to change those thoughts. Even though it is difficult, if you are up for the challenge you can learn to rebuild yourself and your marriage.
Asking these tough questions does not mean you will have the answer right away. Talk them over with your partner, decide together that this is what you want and need. The trauma and pain of the affair and deciding how to move forward are all the beginning steps in recovering from infidelity.
About the Author:
Feeling uncertain about yourself and your spouse after an affair is perfectly normal. If you are seeking help for your unanswered questions, I urge you to check out my site on How To Survive An Affair for more helpful information.. This article, Marriage After Infidelity - Should You Stay or Should You Go? is available for free reprint.
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