Oct 10, 2010

How To Save The Marriage

By Jack Carter

Most marital relationships have plenty of bumps and rough spots. Sometimes these events cause rifts which can be seemingly insurmountable. When these incidents happen you will need a focused effort to save the marriage.

When confronted with disease in a patient, modern treatments in the urban countries of the world seeks to treat the signs and symptoms from the affliction. Medical research workers, however, seek to discover the reasons of the sickness, so they can stop potential outbreaks.

With your marriage, you have to treat the signs and symptoms as well as discover the reasons of your marital problems. You should work on healing the signs and symptoms of your relationship problems after which get rid of the causes so the same problems do not happen again.

If the problems in the marriage are caused by one or both of you, you need to take immediate action to change the causes of the problems. If the causes involve one or both of your actions or an indifferent attitude, this problem could be addressed jointly.

It is smart to be planned in the approach to fixing relationship obstacles. Make a list of the problems, the responsible party and what actions need to be taken to change the problem into a positive outcome.

Have your lover make up their own list after which have a very calm discussion and discuss each list. You should jointly decide what each of you will do to save the marriage (assuming that your partner is a willing participant in saving what you have together).

Generally, using an planned tactic requires some of the emotions out of the process. Once you have agreed on a specific course of action, put the strategy into effect straight away. Discuss your development with your partner on the daily basis.

If you're managing an uncooperative partner, one who thinks he or she may be the "wronged" party, next you'll have to resort to other means to convince your spouse to remain in the marriage.

In this case you can present your partner with your list of what you are going to do to create your marriage better. When it is clear that you're working to better things, you may suggest that your spouse prepare their own list.

As well as your list of planned actions, you should also prepare a listing of all the reasons to save the marriage. Make a balance sheet showing assets on one side and liabilities on the other. Go over it with your partner if they're willing to talk about it.

If your partner is still unwilling to discuss your problems, it's advisable to seek help from an unbiased third party like your clergyman or a close friend or couple who your partner respects and to whom they'll listen. Ask this party to go over the balance sheet on your marriage with your mate.

It is much easier to remain in a situation than it is always to change. Many people reject changes of their lives. They are much more comfortable with familiar surroundings, activities and relationships.

If you demonstrate are keen to figure the kinks out of your marriage, a lot more than likely your partner will be amenable to it as well.

If either one of you has erred greatly, you both need to be reminded that "to err is human, to forgive is divine." Be divine.

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